i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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