I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
