so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So much rum. So many feels.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
