he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
