Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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