New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i now understand why vodka
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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