Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
