FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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