i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
