I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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