So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
