I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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