I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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