But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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