talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
