No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
