i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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