Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
