I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
