So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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