pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I pour the whiskey from now on
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