i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
