you win again, gameday.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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