Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
