He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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