oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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