is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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