how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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