I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
