it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
