great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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