Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
