i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
