Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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