careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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