some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
