are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think people are normalizing furries
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
