9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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