I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
