Define "chronic" masturbator.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize