Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
