Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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