I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
