The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
