Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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