I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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