He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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