i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
