put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
