idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
