im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
