I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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