i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
