yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
