When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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