totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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